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You may have experienced a previous breakup, divorced or widowed and you are thinking of starting a new relationship. You may not be sure you are ready and may be wondering what it will take to begin over. Here are some pointers that will let you know when you are ready for a new relationship:
1. You are no longer angry with yourself or about your past
Talking about your past or your ex no longer gets you angry. You no longer blame yourself or get upset at the mention of your exís name or when you have a flashback. You can laugh at yourself and about the past without have a bitter taste of it.
2. You are taking time to look after yourself and enjoy your time alone
You are able to stay alone without worrying about dating. You are connected to your spirituality and know that God is the main source of life you need. You take time to pamper yourself and enjoy doing things alone.
3. You have identified your needs, goals and vision
Your needs, goals and visions are crystal clear. You are focused and happy with who you are and are working towards accomplishing your goals/vision. You fill fulfilled and can accomplish your goals and vision alone without feeling like you need someone to help you reach for the sky.
4. You are happy alone
You are happy and are in a happy and healthy place. You do not feel needy to be happy. You are mentally, physically and emotionally healthy and feel complete. You are not looking to fill an empty void within but know that your future partner will complement you.
5. You trust yourself enough to trust someone else
You do not generalize that all men or women are the same based on your past. You do not stereotype anyone before getting to know and understand them. You are ready to be vulnerable and would not judge anyone based on your past or theirs (at the same time you are not ready to be gullible).
6. You are not looking for rebounds or game playing
You are not looking to get into a temporary relationship as a soother of your pain or trying to make your ex jealous by getting into a quick friend with benefits relationship where there are no emotional ties but beneficial gains when it is convenient. You are not looking to play on anyone or participate in a mind playing game for sexual benefits.
7. You are emotionally ready
You are ready to take calculated risk while being vulnerable and emotionally and mentally prepared. You know a new relationship will require patience and tolerance, accepting your partner for who he/she is and have the willingness to make a commitment to each other while supporting one anotherís growth. You would not have any emotional rush of anxiety or flashbacks to your past. You already know how to heal and get over a heartbreak without being resentful or bitter.
You are ready when you are not over guarding yourself but know that when you get hurt, you need to take time to heal and prepare, love and find yourself again. You know that love will find you and you do not have to chase love. You can communicate with each other in a loving manner than a harsh tone. Love is indeed a beautiful thing but you have to be ready to give and receive love when the time is ripe.
Kemi Sogunle is an award-winning author, international speaker, certified professional life and relationship coach. She is also the Founder/CEO o...Read More
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